Bakura teaches preschool!
by Luel Reinhardt
Summary: What would happen if Bakura were made to teach pre-schoolers?


Another piece of randomness hits me!

Summary: What if Ryou finally got sick of his Yami's anti-social behavior and decides to make him do some community service by forcing him to become a relief teacher. Will Bakura survive the attack of the pre-schoolers? 

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Bakura teaches Pre-school Egyptian History! 

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Bakura, the yami, stood in awe, at the room he was currently in. It had light blue walls, FIVE walls, two chalkboards, and lots of little chairs and tables that were way too tiny for him. Along two walls were two bookshelves filled with colorful picture books and other simple to read books. Along another walls were racks and rows of shelves that held toys, shoes, bags and some dry store snacks. There was also a fridge in the room that held cartons of milk and cold snacks. 

Ryou, his light, had left him in front of the whitewashed place ten minutes ago, explaining to him that he was going to help out at this place they called a school. Bakura had no idea what a school was and so, had absolutely no idea as what he was to do or where he was to go. Fortunately for him, there had been this _nice_ lady in a gray suit with red horn rimmed glasses and a stuffy attitude to show him the way to the room where he was to be a relief teacher. Bakura had zero, zip, nada idea as to what a relief teacher was, but decided to play along least he get into more trouble. He was already in a load of sh*t with Ryou, for b*tch*ng about how he nothing to do during the day when Ryou had to go to school. And so, Ryou had signed him for something he had called Community Service to help him kill time.

So here he was, standing in an oddly cheerful looking room, littered with happy looking faces drawn on the light walls. It was very childish, and very odd. Did he happen to mention that the room had five walls? Bakura wondered about the room and sat himself on the open floor space in the middle of the room. He had laid back, flat on the floor and was about to go to sleep when a bell rang true, shrill and too damned loud. 

Bakura sat up, startled by the sounding of pounding little feet rushing in his direction. He leaped to his feet and ran to the door, pressing himself against it, ready to open it and attack whoever was on the other side. At a timid knock, Bakura grabbed the shiny brass handle and carefully twisted it open, peering through the small gap he had made when he opened the door. He saw…air…who knocked the door? If this was some joke, whoever carried it out was going to pay big time. Then a sound of feet shuffling made him look down…

"ARRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" 

Thousands and millions of little kids were staring at him! 

Bakura slammed the door shut with a loud resounding bang, and started to hyperventilate. He pressed his back to the door and tried to wake himself up. It HAD to be a dream, a VERY BAD dream. Taking deep breaths to calm himself down, Bakura turned the sparkly brass doorknob once more, and peered downwards through the opening to find millions and billions of bright, evil, scheming eyes staring at him. 

Bakura was about to shut the door again, when a evil hand stopped him from so, be pushing the door open fully guiding the kids into the room. Bakura stared in alarm, surprise, distress, agony and every other noun he could think of, as thousands of little evil, evil minions marched into the room and put their things away and moved to sit in the middle floor space where Bakura had been minutes earlier, staring innocently at Bakura. 

Taking more deep breaths, Bakura thought to himself, "I can do this. They're just little kids. Little, evil, scheming kids who want to suck out my brains!!" Turning to face the hoard of thirty pre-schoolers, Bakura thought, "Calm down Baku, you can do this."

Staring at the kids of no more than five, Bakura realized that he had absolutely no idea as to what he was to do to keep them entertained. Than he spotted a small in the sea of terror. 

"Yes?" asked Bakura, pointing to the little minion who had his hand in the air. 

"Is your hair really white?" asked the little terror. Bakura stared at the little horror and his stare turned into a glare. The kid himself had unnatural red hair and here he was asking if Bakura's hair was naturally white.

"Yeah!" said another of them little evil beings, "Is it really white? Or are you just really old?" Bakura twitched as he considered his options. Then, as he silently contemplated his possible course of actions, the noise in the room rose to an astounding level, with questions about his hair color and age being the main topic being discussed.

"Is your hair really, really, really, really white?"

"Are you sure it's supposed to be white?"

"Maybe he's just really, really, really, really, super duper old!"

"Yeah! That must be it! He must really, really, really, really…"

"SHUT-UP!!!" the sound level dropped to nothing, as the class of little demons turned to stare at the vein popping white-haired _old_, _aged_ grandfather of a man shouted at them to hold their peace.

Bakura stared at all the little kids before him as they stared back. 

"Yes my hair IS naturally white. And NO I am NOT old, well…not very…" stated Bakura, hoping to appease the little fiends. 

"Can you PROVE it?" asked the same annoying puny devil.

"Can you prove that YOUR hair is natural?" shot back a very p*ssed Tomb Robber. The kid smiled widely as he stood and said, "Yeah I can!" and promptly dropped his pants. Bakura's eyes bugged out and he was silently grateful when he realized that his class was made of all boys.

"See! The hair on my legs are red!! Your turn!" Bakura once again focused his stared on the insolent kid before him.  Then, he grunted and was about to say something when one of the kid's cronies spoke up.

"He's chicken!!"

"Haha! He's chicken!!" Bakura popped another vein as cries 'chicken' filled the air. He counted to ten silently and tried to do it FOUR times over to help control himself, when finally, he could take it no more.

"YOU WANNA SEE IT! FINE!" screamed the p*ssed off yami before dropping his pants and smirking triumphantly at the group in front of him. Then he drop fainted at what said next.

"His legs are smooth!!"

"Hey mister! Do you shave or something?!" 

"Yeah! My mom does that!"

"My mom too!"

"You a girly man mister?" 

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

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Four hours later, Bakura was finally allowed to leave the school. He had come pretty close to being forcibly ejected from the school grounds when he started a mini mud war during break and when he started to teach the kids how to pick the locks on doors and lockers. 

However, Bakura had to admit that he had had fun today. And was slightly disappointed when he had been told to NEVER return to the school and that he would NEVER make it as a teacher of anything but delinquency. The kids had been pretty upset as well, when they had been told that Bakura would not be returning to teach them anymore. 

Sitting somewhat dejectedly on the sidewalk, Bakura waved as he spotted Ryou walking towards him. 

"Hey 'Ku. How was it?" asked Ryou sitting on the sidewalk next to his Yami. Bakura didn't reply, just sighed and looked down right depressed. 

"'Ku?" Ryou was getting worried, did something bad happen while at the play school? Ryou was about to ask Bakura about his day again, a small redheaded boy walked out of the school and headed straight for Bakura. 

"Hey mister," said the kid poking Bakura in the shoulder. Ryou gasped, he had better control his yami before…

"Wadda ya want half-pint?" asked Bakura tiredly, staring at the kid who had been his prime terror and yet best accomplice and student.

"I had a great time today. I hope you can come back again."  The kid, jumped to Bakura a quick hug before running off, and climbing into a red sports sedan. Bakura waved back as the kid waved from inside the car as the car drove off.

Ryou stared at his yami in surprise and patted his shoulder sympathetically, suddenly understanding. His yami was upset because this had only been a one shot thing.

"No worries 'Ku, we can sign up for more days here if you like." Bakura perked up and looked at Ryou. 

"Really?" he asked disbelievingly, he had yet to tell Ryou what the head teacher, annoying, stuck up, prissy, old lady had said. 

Ryou nodded excitedly and stood up, silently signaling that it was time to go. Bakura moved into step with his light and asked, "Next time, can we ask Marik to come along?" 

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End

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End file.
